So Good

“He is good, so good.  And he treats your little girl like a real man should.” ~Carrie Underwood  

I know, I just quoted Carrie Underwood.  No, I’m not sure what wrong but I just couldn’t get enough of that song when I was driving home from Nashville this weekend.   

Maybe it was driving through the rolling hills of Tennessee…  

Maybe it was because I just had a great weekend with my boys in Nashville…  

Or maybe it’s because for the first time, I stopped worrying about it and just let it be…  

But as I was driving back from Nashville, thinking about the weekend, what’s ahead, new jobs, dreams, struggles, time together and time apart, family, friends and home, I came to the conclusion that everything is going to be good.  So good.   

I know it sounds simple, and it is, but sometimes that’s the hardest stuff for me to figure out.  Sometimes I overcomplicate and over analyze things.  I sometimes ask the wrong people for advice or psych myself out.  

The second question people ask when they hear I’m going to law school is about the Boy.  What is he going to do?   (Here’s the most asked question)

Ziplining this weekend in Nashville. I know, the hats are hot. Safety first kids.

It’s been just over a month since I packed up my life and headed south for the summer before making the trek up north for school in the fall.  So many new things were happening.  I was moving, going back to school in a new city and the Boy was graduating, and starting a new job.  I was torn between excitement for both of us and wishing we would be there together going through it all.  Some people had horror stories of long distance relationships going array and this did nothing to calm that nagging fear in the back of my head.  Again, sometimes I over think things.   

The Boy and I have definitely been a part.  He’s spent summers back home, or in Spain.  I had to travel for work a lot and holidays have been spent with respective families, he’d travel for running etc. And it’s always been good.  Not “good” like fine/so so or any other watered down version of this word that people toss around but good.  So good like the Carrie Underwood song.  Really really good.  It’s always been a time where we learn about ourselves and each other going through new things.  It’s when I get back from the day and can’t wait to hear from him, talk with him and hear what he’s up to.  It’s always tough not having my best friend around all the time to hang out with but it always makes me realize what I have and so excited to be there again.   

I know, I know.  I don’t normally share this type of stuff on my blog…nor do I normally quote Carrie Underwood.  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s the heat.  

The boy when we went to the GA Aquarium

Or…maybe it’s because I haven’t heard very many encouraging words about all this so for anybody else who has ever or will ever go through this…it will be something for you to think about and hold on to.   

I also write this to say thanks to those who have been amazing and so supportive through all this.  I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you.  

One of these people is the Law School Wife.  I read this post a couple of weeks ago and I think it hit the nail on the head.  The circumstances are different but the point remains the same.  She talks about how people would say they’d never stay together through law school cause it’s so hard blah blah blah, but after a year, she’s found that’s not the case.  She says law school didn’t break those people up.  Deeper issues or an incapadability did, not law school.  I think the same applies to long distance. She says,  

“Either you tackle the issues together, or you don’t. It’s not about law school. It’s just life. The couples who can’t handle the speed bumps, the curve balls, the stress of being an adult–those are the couples who will break up. The couples who know how to work through problems together, to work through stress together, to speak to each other with kindness even when the going gets tough, those who realize law school is just a phase and that work is just a job, those who know how to play together will stay together–”  

I love it. It’s not law school, or the distance or anything else that’s hard, life is hard.  She says some people/couples sink and some swim.  Law school, and I’d say anything tough like long distance etc., weeds out the sinkers.  And makes the swimmers stronger.    

 
 

Enjoying some of Sweetwater's Brew and watching the World Cup

 This coupled with talking with the boy and another dear friend’s comments I saw this weekend about long distance relationships being a great experience to learn about each other and grow has made me…dare I say it…excited.  

I have loved our weekends together, out having fun, exploring, laughing, seeing friends and doing things we’ve never done before. I love our talks during the week and how he can make me smile miles away.  I look forward to growing together as we learn about each other as he is starts a new job, I’m at law school and so much more.  

So…on the windy road home from Nashville, with Carrie Underwood playing as the backdrop after a perfect weekend behind me and infinite possibilities ahead of me, I decided no more overthinking, overcomplicating or worrying.  I came to the conclusion that I knew was the right one all along.  

So, to the people who doubt and ask about me and the Boy and how we’ll make it though, I can say with conviction and confidence that no matter where we are, these challenges and weekends and long nights are going to be so good.  

I can’t wait!  

Thanks Carrie 😉  

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20 thoughts on “So Good

  1. Love this post. And I’m a firm believer that long distance is often one of the most beautiful gifts given to a relationship as it either creates enough distance to make two people more capable of walking away or to affirm more and more that two people are committed to making it work.

    I always say that if Cliff hadn’t gotten to Sudan, we wouldn’t be here… we wouldn’t be who we are each as individuals and as a couple… that our story hinged on that space in which we grew to love each other not just out of convenience but out of everything else it’s made of. And that’s good, good stuff.

  2. Sure, this is not going to be a cakewalk, but when is life ever a cakewalk? Life is full of ups and downs. You have to be able to celebrate the ups and cling to each other (and your own strength!) during the downs. Family members pass away, illnesses cause struggles, finances are never perfect, there may be another war, another recession, etc. Ultimately, you can choose to focus on the positives and learn and grow from it, or become mired in the crap. This distance/law school hurdle is just part of the cycle.

    My first year of law school, my husband was living on the other side of the country for army training (we were only dating for the first semester and engaged the second semester, but it was still difficult!). My third year of law school, my husband was dodging bullets and driving over IEDs in Iraq. In the end, we both cherish the strength we have developed and the fact that the challenges and difficulties have drawn us closer together, despite any geographical separation.

    You can do this 🙂 For every whiny ninny, there is a success story. You will be a success story.

  3. When I went away to law school, I left my boyfriend behind. We were together all through school, and it worked. And we even remained together for almost another year after school. However, it was my insane law firm job (it was like living in a horror movie, really) and the fact that we probably were better suited as best friends and probably should have never gone down the romantic road that split us up. We’re still good friends. It is totally doable, but both parties have to put in the effort. It’s actually kind of nice to be able to give undivided attention to school when you’re apart and to your partner when you’re together.

  4. oh jackie j. Let me first say that I am glad to see a new post from you 🙂

    Secondly, I did the long distance relationship thing for 2.5 years and completely and utterly agree with Law School Wife. So, if you’re ever having a rough day – you call me and I’ll commiserate with you.

    And another way to say “so good”, just to spice things up, could be “it’s all good in da hood.”

  5. Thank you for the shout out 🙂

    I think long distance relationships are exactly what you describe: Just another challenge that weeds out the sinkers. We were long distance for a year, and eventually decided that (for us), we could not survive four years (college) in tact seven hours away, and we wanted to see where we could go. So my one piece of unsolicited advice is to have a light at the end of your long-distance tunnel, and I look forward to watching you swim!

  6. i love this post. i am such an over-analyzer. i could win an oscar for it. or any other award people hand out. and i come to find that being the crazy person that i can be, i’m missing out on some great things from time to time.

    also, i’m reminded of what dolly parton said when someone asked her how she stayed with her husband so long. she said something along the lines of it’s because she’s gone most of the time.

    i’m a true believer that if it’s meant to be, it will be. we hear more about people breaking up than the ones who have made it 5, 10, 15, 20 years. i’m a songwriter, i rely on the bad stuff. but challenges are challenges whether you’re a few hundred miles apart or living in the same house.

  7. Amazing post. Great reflections. Wonderful outlook. Don’t ever let anyone tell you what can or can not be done. You and the Boy will decide with some help from the One that knows. So excited right along with you.

  8. Great post! Naysayers can get tiresome, can’t they? My boyfriend and I are doing the long distance thing for the next two years while he’s in grad school, and it sucks, but it’s worth fighting through. Question: when you and your guy are apart, how do you make sure that you remain relevant to each other, even though your daily lives are so different? When we did long distance while I was in Greece, sometimes conversation dwindled to the Daily Report (what I did, what he did). I’m worried about that happening this time around too.

  9. Aww I’ve never done long distance but you’ll make it work, I can tell!! And now you’ll have so much to look forward to when you get to visit each other.

  10. I loved this post. We’ve been through similar long distance periods oddly enough also involving Spain 🙂 It just makes seeing each other better!

  11. Think how good you will be at triathlons after swimming through this! 🙂 I have no doubt you each will succeed, both apart and together again. And it will be an experience you will never forget!
    Go get ’em.

  12. You’re right, and LSW is right. Everyone has their bumps. We all know Mr. Smith and I went through some long distance time… it only made us stronger. Sure we had times when things weren’t gumdrops and rainbows, but so do couples who live down the street from one another… or in the same house. It’s how you work through those times and how you come out on the other side that matters. We did distance for years, and now I think I’m the luckiest married woman alive. 🙂

  13. Great post!
    I think one of the most difficult things is to be able to say that things are “good”. We’re trained to believe that things should be GREAT, otherwise they’re just okay.
    Not sure when our lives got so complicated (maybe we’ve made them that way) but simple is good.

    And I’m glad that you’re good!

    PS – where did you go zip-lining in Nashville?? I went in Alaska and I want to go again!

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  16. We’ve been long distance for over two years in the almost 5 we’ve been together. We get married in 72 days. It’s workable. Very workable and you guys can do it 🙂 It’ll make you fall in love all over again! xo

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