“The most successful people are those who are good at Plan B.” ~ James Yorke
At this point I don’t know why I keep planning. I’m throwing out the to-do lists, the sticky notes and the planner…well…I might hold on to the planner. Just for a bit longer. It’s my safety net. I can’t cut ties yet.
How funny is it that not even a week after I let one thing go, releasing my clenched fist…I tighten it again on yet another thing. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever learn…
If you haven’t already noticed, I am a planner. Sometimes to a fault. Especially when it comes to big decisions in my life I like to think things out and figure out my plan of attack.
I don’t like when I have to deviate from said plan. I get all bent out of shape. You know how people always say, where one door closes another door opens. I hate that. I want the door I want to open to open! It’s probably just locked, or needs some WD-40 but you better believe I’m going to get that door to open! Turns out…and for probably good reason, every door is slammed shut and bolted up except for the one I need to go through, the one that’s best for me. I’ve seen how this has forced me to go in the right direction, and I am thankful for that but for some reason it’s always surprising when it happens. Call me stubborn.
When that door shuts, I am forced to go to Plan B. This is exactly what happened last week.
Here’s the deal. I am still in between what law school I will be at in a little over a month. I have been accepted to go to a wonderful school and I’m excited, but I really want to go to a law school that I have been wait-listed for. I just believe in my heart of hearts that it would be the best fit for me. I’ve done everything I can to boost my chances should there be extra slots and honestly thought that when deposits were due just a couple days ago, they would have extra spots and they would call my number to tell me the good news.
Well…as some of your know, grad school admissions are just crazy now. With so many out of job and looking to go back to school, programs are seeing an influx of students like they’ve never seen. The admission people at this school have been fabulous at keeping me in the loop which I appreciate more than they know. When I emailed them on the day deposits were due saying that I hoped some poor sap’s check got lost in the mail last week though, I got some back news back. They received a record number of deposits and exceeded their numbers.
I was devastated. I read the email and could feel the hot tears welling up.
I couldn’t believe it. I was sure Plan A would fall in place.
I was able to get out a short sentence telling the Boy what had just happened (you know, so he doesn’t think I just spontaneously burst into tears like a mad woman) and he did the best thing he could have done at that moment.
He said, “I am so sorry J. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it now, but when you do just let me know. I’ll be here.”
Later that afternoon we went on a LONG walk. I laid it all on the table. We talked about the pros and cons, what to do next and why Plan B can be just as good or even better than Plan A.
He was so right (but don’t tell him I said that ;). He voiced everything I knew but just needed to hear. Ok, so Plan A looks like it may not work out. That doesn’t mean we abandon it. That doesn’t mean we give up or throw in the towel. BUT it does mean we start to formulate a Plan B.
I felt so much better after our 4 mile walk/talk. I know that no matter where, I want to go to law school. I have two great options right now so I need to do everything I can to try to get to school #1 but also pursue #2. So that’s what I’m doing now. Rethinking, reformulating and relaxing in the fact that I am going to do all I can and that eventually, I will be in the right place.
Seriously, there should be a 12 step program for people like me. I’m learning 🙂
As a side-note…it is truly amazing how much you learn about yourself and those around you when you push beyond your comfort zone. As frustrating and as scary as this all seems at times, and no matter how many times I scrap a plan, I cherish this time! It’s exciting and I am learning so much! I am going to make a point to never be complacent, always try new things and stretch my limits because it’s in this scrapping of plans and sleepless nights that you figure out who you are and what makes you stronger.
You know what…I might have to ask for one of my sticky notes back. Just to write this little gem on it. Maybe put it on my mirror, or in my car or better yet, on my arm:
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.” ~Woody Allen
In the words of D.A.R, “Yes, I know…but when will I ever learn” I’m right there with you sister. 🙂
How are you with Plan B? Ever had to re-route?