This New Year’s Present

“Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  And today?  Today is a gift.  That’s why we call it the present.”  ~Babatunde Olatunji

Photo from We Heart It.

I have learned a lot this past semester.  Not just about torts or civil procedure but more importantly and in my eyes, more beneficial, I’ve learned about who I am.    It’s all seemed to hit me this winter break.  Maybe it’s because my mind has room in it for things other than case names and briefs, or the spare time and extra sleep, or maybe it’s the fact that I’m reading and writing again. But regardless of the reason, this break has been full of learning in its own right.

Apparently I was slow on the pick up for one of these life lessons until it came along and slapped me in the face while catching up on my google reader.  For the life of me I don’t know why I can’t ease into these things.

These three lovely ladies could not have said it better.  The other night when I read these words I  realized what I had been doing all semester and had yet to put a finger on.

For the past year and a half, I have been living in the future instead of truly enjoying and embracing the today, which for a goal driven gal shouldn’t be that surprising. However, it was realizing what that was doing to me and those around me that really stopped me in my tracks.

First it was looking forward to being done with the LSAT, then it was getting accepted into the school of my choice, then it was moving, then getting through the semester and conquering finals.  I have been so ahead of myself.  Goals and dreams are a wonderful thing, something I will always have but I can’t let it be a blinder to the present.  I have been living with the “hurry up and wait” attitude.  Hurrying through law school so I can take the bar, get a job and become an attorney.  Hurrying through the moving from year to year to a different place and time in another state with distance between me and those I love so I can be in the same state as my best friend, be back in the city I love, stay in one place for while, be with friends again, and so many more.

That ends today.

This semester and this year, I want to really focus on the present each day brings.  I have no idea what is in store for this year but I have resolved to enjoy and live every single minute of it.  I can’t control what happens but I can control who I am and who I become and in the words of Dawn Joy, one of the lovely ladies mentioned above, “I want to see today.  I want to see all the beauties of the here and now.”  I want to see the beauty in the in between.

I’m going to stop seeing life as a finish line.  I’m going to enjoy the journey and the path along the way because from what I’ve been thinking, and what I’ve learned, that’s what you remember about races, not so much the finish line but the people, the triumphs and the struggles along the way.

I’m going to enjoy how distance strengthens relationships, shows us new things about the people we love, its late night phone calls and weekends that can’t be beat.  I am not going to let busyness get in the way of keeping up with friends and family who are far away but find that sweet spot amidst the craziness to stay connected to those I miss.  I’m  going to learn my new city and find places to call my own.  I’m going to open myself up, meet new people and build relationships with those I am around.  I’m going to every day be thankful for the beautiful life I have today instead of constantly looking forward to the dreams of tomorrow.

I’m going to embrace and enjoy every step of 2011.

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