Happy Birthday Little Dictator

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole” ~ Roger Caras

Caesar, the little dictator, turns 4 today.  Or 28 in dog years, which is disconcerting because this now makes him the wisest oldest one in the house.  I’m assuming he’s known this for a long time and has just been waiting for this day when us humans would be forced to resign to the fact that Caesar knows best.

As he grows older, I often wonder if C$ is a little too smart for his own good.  I swear that every time I ask him to sit, stay, or lay down, the wheels in his little canine head start turning as he ponders, “if I do, what will I get out of this.”  However, if cheese, onion, peanut butter or salami is involved, his little butt is glued to the ground just waiting for a piece to come over his way. I’m not sure whether I’m more concerned about what this says about my eating habits or about his listening skills.  So if Caes was asked to impart some of his wisdom, now that he’s the eldest of the pack, I’m convinced he’d have this to say:

1.  Help out with homework, specifically, when your human is highlighting for law school.  The best thing to do is try to take the highlighter out of their hands and run with them.

2.  Fetch is much more fun if you have the humans throw it and then you just look at them so they go get the ball.  So much less work when they bring it back for you.

3.  The Dog Whisperer is the best show ever.  When its on, drop everything else to watch and listen.  It’s like dog yoga…calm submissive state.

4.  When running your human, keep them on their toes. And above all, if you see a squirrel, chase it.

5.  Take over the couch, humans like that.

6.  Take over the bed, they like that even more.

7.  Eat the same thing everyday.  No surprises.

8.  Don’t wear clothes, and don’t ever wear halloween costumes. A simple yet stylish collar will do just fine.

9.  Only listen enough to let the humans believe they call the shots.

10.  Eat more peanut butter, it’s good for your health.

Happy Birthday Monkey.

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