Tough Conversations With Kids – Preparing Your Child with a Plan to Prevent Sexual Abuse

“…if you’re a parent, it doesn’t matter if your child is five or 50 – you still worry.” ~ Heather Small

The plus sign or double pink lines on pregnancy tests should really be accompanied by a little note that reads, “Welcome to parenthood – the world of worry.” Because that’s when it all starts . . .

While pregnant, you worry about the health and safety of your baby. You hold your breath while the ultrasound tech checks the strength of heart valves, counts ten tiny toes, and takes your sweet one’s measurements. You get butterflies as the doctor spends those first few seconds scanning the chart to check on the baby’s progress. But at that time, your worry appears to have an end point – birth.

You think, “Once my little one is in my arms and I can see him or her, those eyes, that mouth, and those little fingers wrapped around my thumb, everything will be all right – I won’t have to worry anymore.”

But then you learn that worrying about your child’s well-being doesn’t end at birth. It begins.

Unfortunately, sleepless nights don’t end when you’re out of the newborn phase. There’s just a different reason for them. What starts as worrying about feedings with a newborn changes to worrying about classmates in elementary school, which morphs into worrying about your teen texting while driving despite the million times you’ve told him or her not to. Worrying about the little ones we love is just part of parenting.

One worry many parents have as their little ones attend daycare or school, or are left with babysitters, is body safety and abuse. Unfortunately, there’s good reason to worry. The state of Alabama is in line with national statistics, which show that one in every 10 children will experience some form of sexual abuse before turning 18. That stat is staggering. But here’s the good news — we can do something. We can educate them and empower them.

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For tips on how to make body safety another part of your family’s safety plan, check out my latest post on the Birmingham Moms Blog where Executive Director of the Children’s Hospital Intervention and Prevention Services at Children’s of Alabama gives some tips on key components to include in your family’s plan.

Tough Conversations with Kids – Let’s Talk About Sex

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what.  If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” ~ Catherine M. Wallace

Nothing strikes quite as much fear in the hearts of parents as the thought of having “the talk” with their child.

Amidst the nausea and panic that immediately set in, there are the questions: When do you have it? What do you say? How do you say it? What if you say the wrong thing? What if they ask a question you don’t know the answer to? Don’t they cover this in school?

These are the questions I already have . . . and my eldest is just barely out of diapers.

But here’s the good news – early, candid conversations with your child about tough topics, like puberty and sex, help set your child and family up for success for years to come. And who wouldn’t want that?

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For tips on jumpstarting the conversation with your son or daughter, check out my latest post on the Birmingham Moms Blog where Dr. Stephenie Wallace, mom, certified Girlologist, and part of the Adolescent Health Center team at Children’s of Alabama gives some tips on how to get started.

 

Tough Conversations With Kids

“Expect the best, prepare for the worst.” ~ Muhammad Ali Jinnah

Risk analysis is my jam.  You could put me in a room, and I could both identify and prepare for any risk that might even remotely be presented.

We had the monitor to alert us if the boys’ breathing became irregular, we were early adapters to child-proofing, and I still cut up hot dogs for my 2 ½ year-old so they don’t pose a choking hazard.

What mom hasn’t felt her risk antennae become a bit sharper after having kids? From the minute our child comes into our life, every cell in our body reprograms with a new mission – keeping him or her safe.

But that’s hard. We can’t always be there. Nor do we want to be. Therefore, the best way we can protect our kids is to prepare them.

However, this can lead to some tough conversations…

Read the rest of this first post of my Tough Conversations with Kids series on the Birmingham Moms Blog.