Are Your Goals Suffering From Seasonal Confusion Disorder (SCD)?

“We are always “in progress.”‘ ~ Lara Casey

I am someone who likes order. I like predictability. So you can imagine my confusion recently when it was almost 70 degrees . . . in January.

Notice I said confusion, and not sadness.

While it was nothing like I’ve been used to, as a recent Birmingham transplant from the North Country, I loved that I could be outside playing with the boys in the middle of January. I may have even sent a few pictures of us outside to our friends back in Ohio, who, just this past weekend, got dumped on by snow. I know, I shouldn’t have. But these are the same people who also saw pictures of me sweating it out here during our first Southern summer. Honestly, I think these nice days in the middle of January are nature’s way of saying thank you to those of us down here in the South for dealing with her hot flashes in the summer . . . and fall.

Since moving to Birmingham in June, I’ve learned that the South, at times, suffers from Seasonal Confusion Disorder (SCD).

While we’re on the topic of SCD, did you know your goals could suffer from the same ailment? I didn’t either, until I met Lara Casey.

Now looking back, I realize SCD was a silent killer of my goals for so many years. I would set these lofty goals without taking into account the season of life I was in.  What has transformed my view on goal setting this year was realizing that my goals need to match my season.

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How are you progressing on your goals?  Feeling burnt out?  Overwhelmed?  If so, these may be signs of SCD.  But there is a cure.  For more on the importance of assessing the season your in, refreshing your goals, and matching your goals to your season, check out my latest post on the Birmingham Moms Blog.

Tough Conversations With Kids – Preparing Your Child with a Plan to Prevent Sexual Abuse

“…if you’re a parent, it doesn’t matter if your child is five or 50 – you still worry.” ~ Heather Small

The plus sign or double pink lines on pregnancy tests should really be accompanied by a little note that reads, “Welcome to parenthood – the world of worry.” Because that’s when it all starts . . .

While pregnant, you worry about the health and safety of your baby. You hold your breath while the ultrasound tech checks the strength of heart valves, counts ten tiny toes, and takes your sweet one’s measurements. You get butterflies as the doctor spends those first few seconds scanning the chart to check on the baby’s progress. But at that time, your worry appears to have an end point – birth.

You think, “Once my little one is in my arms and I can see him or her, those eyes, that mouth, and those little fingers wrapped around my thumb, everything will be all right – I won’t have to worry anymore.”

But then you learn that worrying about your child’s well-being doesn’t end at birth. It begins.

Unfortunately, sleepless nights don’t end when you’re out of the newborn phase. There’s just a different reason for them. What starts as worrying about feedings with a newborn changes to worrying about classmates in elementary school, which morphs into worrying about your teen texting while driving despite the million times you’ve told him or her not to. Worrying about the little ones we love is just part of parenting.

One worry many parents have as their little ones attend daycare or school, or are left with babysitters, is body safety and abuse. Unfortunately, there’s good reason to worry. The state of Alabama is in line with national statistics, which show that one in every 10 children will experience some form of sexual abuse before turning 18. That stat is staggering. But here’s the good news — we can do something. We can educate them and empower them.

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For tips on how to make body safety another part of your family’s safety plan, check out my latest post on the Birmingham Moms Blog where Executive Director of the Children’s Hospital Intervention and Prevention Services at Children’s of Alabama gives some tips on key components to include in your family’s plan.

Tough Conversations with Kids – Let’s Talk About Sex

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what.  If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” ~ Catherine M. Wallace

Nothing strikes quite as much fear in the hearts of parents as the thought of having “the talk” with their child.

Amidst the nausea and panic that immediately set in, there are the questions: When do you have it? What do you say? How do you say it? What if you say the wrong thing? What if they ask a question you don’t know the answer to? Don’t they cover this in school?

These are the questions I already have . . . and my eldest is just barely out of diapers.

But here’s the good news – early, candid conversations with your child about tough topics, like puberty and sex, help set your child and family up for success for years to come. And who wouldn’t want that?

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For tips on jumpstarting the conversation with your son or daughter, check out my latest post on the Birmingham Moms Blog where Dr. Stephenie Wallace, mom, certified Girlologist, and part of the Adolescent Health Center team at Children’s of Alabama gives some tips on how to get started.

 

Learning How to Enjoy the Moment

“Children are not a distraction from more important work.  They are the most important work.” ~ C.S. Lewis

I have a sneaking suspicion.

I suspect that if each of us thought back to the advice we received while pregnant, one of the top ten most-received tidbits would be, “Enjoy the moment.”

However, the problem is, while family, friends, co-workers, and even complete strangers are quick to offer this bit of advice, no one tells you how to do that.

No one tells you how to “enjoy the moment” when your newborn has day/night confusion and you are running on less than three hours of sleep.

No one tells you how to “enjoy the moment” when your potty-training toddler has his or her fifth accident that day and you’re up to your elbows in poop, laundry, and Clorox wipes.

No one tells you how to “enjoy the moment” when your patience (and nerves) are shot from dealing with a contrary toddler that just.won’t.listen.

Forget about enjoying the moment, we are just trying to survive it.

That’s where I found myself recently. Then, while having breakfast with the boys, I looked out the window and saw the school bus pass by. Inexplicably, my heart leapt.  I could feel a swelling deep in my gut.

These sweet, albeit chaotic, mornings with my two boys are numbered. All too soon they won’t want to sit down and tell me about the dragons they slayed in their dreams over toast.  They may not laugh at the silly faces I make, or ask me ten times to do the robot voice that makes them laugh so hard they get the hiccups.

Then that advice came echoing back, “Enjoy the moment.”

Sitting at the table that morning, I resolved not to squander these moments. However, then I had to come up with a game plan to actually follow the advice I had been given.

Read the rest of this post on the Birmingham Moms Blog.

Mommin’ Ain’t Easy

“Friendship…is born at the moment when one person says to another: “What!  You too?  I thought I was the only one.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Bless the moms who always look fantastic and put together, who’s doting kids always appear to listen to their mother’s calm requests with a polite smile on their faces, and who’s children are grateful for every minor correction given by all-knowing parents, as if they know that their momma truly does know best.  Bless them.

The perfect moment captured.

If you were to catch a glimpse of me on the right day, at exactly the right moment, when the wind is blowing just right, and the world (aka the two boys) seems in sync, you may think I am one of these unicorns.

However, let me assure you my friends that I am not.

On my best day I am like the mom equivalent of a mullet – perfectly manicured in the front, hair on fire in the back.

In my short two-and-a-half years as a mother, I have learned that in fact, there are no unicorns.  There is no perfect mother with perfectly behaved kids.  That perfectly put together mother with her well-behaved children I see at the grocery store, soccer practice, and at daycare pick up – she’s right there in the trenches too.  I just happened to catch her at just the right moment.  And you know what, that’s why when I see that mom, I give her a nod as if to say, “Sister, I know what it took to get here like that.  You go girl.”  Then my face likely reflects a tinge of longing as I thing, “Tell me your secret.”

The behind-the-scenes captured

However, despite the craziness, the mom-buns, the dry-fit shirts (a new staple of my momiform here in Birmingham), and the suitcases under my eyes, I wouldn’t trade being a mom for all the perfect and/or quiet moments in the world.

But mommin’ ain’t easy.  It isn’t for the faint of heart.  That’s why we need friends.  We need friends who we can join with, share with, be in the trenches with, and laugh with.

I’ve always loved the above C.S. Lewis quote.  But, I treasure it as a mom.

Whether it is a co-worker, a fellow soccer mom, or your favorite blogger, there is nothing more reassuring or encouraging as a mom than when you hear or read something that makes you say, “What? You too?  I thought I was the only one!”

There is strength in numbers ladies.

That’s why I am so thrilled and honored to join the fabulous team of ladies at the Birmingham Moms Blog as a contributor.

Check out the introduction post to read a little more about how we got to Birmingham, my career change, and what the true meaning is behind the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.”

The posts will include some local flavor as the boys and I explore our new home here in the Magic City.  However, I hope to also relay those universal moments we all have as moms in the trenches – the ones that make us laugh, cry, and everything in between.   So be encouraged mama – no matter where you are, you are not the only one.

 

Sunday Brunch Day

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” ~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

There is just something about Fall.  The crisp air, the colorful leaves, and the cooler temperatures seem to beckon you to come gather at the table.  The Fall table does not require formalities, she simply asks you to come as you are, and to come hungry.

When I was in law school and the Husband, then boyfriend, moved up here to Cincinnati, we started family dinners on Sunday nights.  It was a time to come together with family amidst all the craziness of the past week, relax together, and to reconnect.

With the Husband’s work schedule or studying often pulling him away on Sunday, we have gotten out of our little routine.  And I miss it.  This past Sunday though, schedules aligned and we brunched.

Now, I’m a breakfast person.  There is no mistaking that.  So I couldn’t wait to welcome everyone with a warm cup of coffee on a cool Sunday morning.  And let’s be honest, there’s no better way to watch football than with a warm and happy stomach.  So before the Steelers play, or if you side with the Ohio contingency of my family, the Bengals or Browns, it was time to come to the table.

Everyone has their go-to for brunch.  Whether it’s a soufflé, your grandmother’s cinnamon rolls, or strata, there’s that one dish you pull out of your back pocket to please the morning crowd.  For years mine was a Rachel Ray casserole.  We made it the morning of my law school graduation so it only seemed fitting to make this past weekend to celebrate passing the Ohio Bar.  However, I decided to break out of the mold and break into my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.

On the menu this past Sunday morning was the Farmer’s Casserole and Pumpkin Bread.  It only seems fitting.  They were delicious! So next time your family gathers, break out these little numbers and they will be sure to please.  This Pumpkin Bread would also be great as gifts.

Pumpkin Bread
From Better Homes and Gardens

Makes 2 loaves.  This can be made ahead of time, which is always key for brunch.  If making the night before, after the loaves are completely cool, wrap and store overnight.

Ingredients
– 3 cups sugar
– 1 cup vegetable oil
– 4 eggs
– 3 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
– 2 tsp. baking soda
– 1 ½ tsp. salt
– 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
– 1 tsp. ground nutmeg
–  2/3 cup water
–  1 15oz. can pumpkin

Directions
– Grease the bottom and sides of two loaf pans; set aside.
– In a very large mixing bowl beat sugar and oil with an electric mixer on medium speed.  Add eggs and beat well; set aside.
– In a large bowl combine flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
– Alternately add flour mixture and water to sugar mixture, beating on low speed after each addition just until combined.
– Beat in pumpkin.
– Spoon batter into prepared pans.
– Bake at 350 for 55-65 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted near the centers come out clean.
– Cool in pans on wire racks for 10 minutes.
– Remove from pans and then cool completely on the wire racks.

Farmer’s Casserole
Adapted from Better Homes and Gardens

This makes 6 big servings but I would suggest doubling the recipe because people will go back for seconds.  This can also be made ahead of time.  Cha-ching.  If making ahead, go through second step.  Cover, and chill up to 24 hours.  Then bake uncovered at 350 for 50-55 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.  Let stand for 5 minutes before serving.

Ingredients
– 3 cups frozen hash brown potatoes
– ¾ cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese, cheddar cheese, or a mixture
– 1 cup cooked, crumbled, turkey sausage (the recipe calls for diced cooked ham or bacon, but the turkey was great in it and a bit healthier)
– ¼ cup sliced green onions
– ¼ cup diced red pepper
– 4 beaten eggs
– 1 ½ cups milk
– 1/8 tsp. salt
– 1/8 tsp. black pepper

Directions
– Coat 2-quart square baking dish with non-stick cooking spray
– Arrange potatoes evenly in the bottom of the dish.
– Sprinkle potatoes with cheese, turkey, green onions, and red peppers.
– In a bowl, combine eggs, milk, salt, and pepper.
– Pour egg mixture over potato mixture.
– Bake, uncovered, at 350 for 40-45 minutes or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean.
– Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

What is your brunch go-to?

Cloudy with a chance of meat sauce

“There is no such thing as Italian ‘haute cuisine’ there are no high or low roads in Italian cooking.  All roads lead to the home, to ‘la cucina de casa’ – the only one that deserves to be called Italian cooking.” ~ Marcella Hazan

Grandma Rosemarie as a baby

Some of my very fondest memories of my Grandma Rosemarie center around cooking.  While growing up and spending summers at the lake with Grandma and Grandad, the most important question of the day was always, “What’s for dinner?”  And it was usually asked at the breakfast table.

It was not that we particularly cared what we were eating, but it was that by figuring out what she was planning on making, we knew when to come up from the lake to help.  We did not want to miss a minute of it.

The house, and our family, revolved around the kitchen and the large gathering table my grandparents had built to accommodate their 5 boys and all of their grandchildren.  While Grandma cut tomatoes and basil for bruschetta, a gaggle of cousins brushed ciabatta bread with olive oil, Grandad would put on music, and one of the aunts would be arranging fresh flowers from Grandma’s garden to place on the table.

Despite all the hub-bub, Grandma was always patient.  Everyone had a job, and nothing was rushed.  While the pasta would cook, the smell of marinara sauce would float through the air and mingle with the laughs and conversations that filled the room.  This has always been the image I conjure up when I think of family.

I don’t remember seeing Grandma use many cookbooks.  However, Marcella Hazan’s Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking is one that I distinctly remember on her shelf.  This comes as no surprise as a wonderful piece in the New York Times last Sunday after Hazan’s death summed it this way, “Mrs. Hazan embraced simplicity, precision and balance in her cooking.”  This is what I remember about Grandma’s cooking.

My brother gave me my own this past Christmas.  With law school, moving, the bar exam, and starting a job, it was still in a box with all my other cookbooks.  However, after reading the NYT piece and seeing the weather here in Cincinnati called for rain, what better way to warm up an otherwise dreary Sunday than in the kitchen.

In Hazan’s own words, “Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking is meant to be used as a kitchen handbook, the basic manual for cooks of every level.”  I have been dying to make a good bolognese sauce from scratch for years, so I decided to make Hazan’s ragu, a dish she was known for.  I couldn’t help by smile as I was making the ingredient list and saw it called for nutmeg, a hint of which you could always taste in Grandma’s sauce.

Rosemarie as a baby with her older sister

 

From the very first recipe, I could already tell this book was going to be a staple in my kitchen.  Hazan’s recommendations throughout the book and effortless prose make me feel like I was right back in my Grandma’s kitchen.  Nothing is rushed, everything has a purpose, and you are always welcome.  As I read through Hazan’s pointers before the bolognese recipe, I almost felt as if my Grandma was right there beside me making sure everything turned out just right.

• Make sure the meat is not from too lean of a cut.
• Be sure to add salt immediately when sauteing the meat because this will extract the juices.
• Cook, uncovered, at the merest simmer for a long, long time; no less than 3 hours is necessary; more is better.

To me, this last one is key.  It says, calm down, have a glass of wine, converse with family and friends, and do it right.  This recipe is perfect for a lazy Sunday.  A perfect dish to make for a family dinner or like I did, for a night in on a rainy Sunday with the Husband.   It is comfortable, warm, and welcoming.  Just like I remember Grandma Rosemarie.

Bolognese Meat Sauce
Originally from Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking, and  some ingredients adapted/multiplied by Leite’s Culinaria (a fabulously mouthwatering blog that you must read if you do not already)

Ingredients
– 2 Tbs. vegetable oil
– 6 Tbs. unsalted butter, plus 2 Tbs. for tossing the pasta
– 1 cup chopped onion
– 1 1/3 cup chopped celery
– 1 1/3 cup chopped carrots
– 1 1/2 pound ground chuck beef*
– Salt
– Black Pepper
– 2 cups whole milk
– 1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
– 2 cups dry white wine (I used sauvignon blanc)
– 3 cups canned imported Italian tomatoes, crushed, with their juices
– pasta (I used cheese tortellini)

Directions
– Put oil, butter, and onion into the pot over medium heat.
– Cook and stir the onion until it becomes translucent, and then add the celery and carrot.  Cook for about 2 minutes, stirring to make sure the vegetables are coated.
– Add the meat, a large pinch of salt, and pepper.  Break up the meat with a wooden spoon and cook until the beef has lost its red color.
– Add the milk and simmer gently, stirring frequently, until it has bubbled away completely.  About 1 hour.
– Add nutmeg and stir.
– Add the wine and let it simmer until it is evaporated.  About 1.25 hours.
– Add the tomatoes and stir to makes sure all the ingredients are coated well.  When the tomatoes begin to bubble, turn the heat down so that the sauce cooks  at the laziest of simmers, with just an intermittent bubble breaking through to the surface. (Honestly, Hazan’s words just make me hungry).
– Cook uncovered for 3 hours or more, stirring from time to time.
– If the sauce begins to dry out and the fat separates from the meat, add 1/2 cup of water whenever necessary to keep it from sticking.
– At the end, make sure that no water is left and the fat must separate from the sauce.
– Season to taste.
– Toss with cooked drained pasta, adding the remaining 2 Tbs. of butter.

 

*Hazan recommends a variation of the sauce that uses pork, an important part of Bologna’s culture and cuisine.  She recommends 1 part ground pork for every 2 parts beef.  David from Leite’s Culinaria did 1/2 pound each of ground chuck, ground pork, and ground veal.  This is key.

Don’t make the mistake I did.  I could not find ground pork at the grocery so I just went with ground beef (since I did not know the difference between ground beef and ground chuck).  Newbie mistake.  Next time I will either get chuck since it is fattier, more flavorful, and tastier.  Or, I’ll head down to the butcher.  Since you’re spending the time cooking it, make sure you get good meat.  It is the foundation.  And as the queen of Italian cooking says, “Flavor, in Italian dishes, builds up from the bottom…a foundation of flavor supports, lifts, points up the principal ingredients.”  Aka…get good meat.

The Truth About Tinsel, Trees, and Traditions

“Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved.” ~A Christmas Story

Does that picture make my teeth look like they're chattering?

Earmuffs Santa. I’ve a feeling you’re not going to like this.

I’m not going to lie to you, Christmas is not my favorite holiday.  (I can almost hear the sleigh bells halting and making a last-minute detour to skip my house). But before you start to question if my heart is two sizes too small, let me explain myself.

It used to be.  As a kid I lived for it.  I loved tearing through the gifts and (as any kid would) hated when Mom would make us sit at the top of the stairs for a picture on Christmas morning as the four of us kids jostled for the best position once she said go. But as I grew older, what I loved were the people, the traditions.

It was the craziness of 15 cousins, you’re Grammy cupping your face in her hands after a big hug as she told you how much she missed you.  It was Christmas Eve at Grandma’s house, the laughter and chatter of family and warm welcoming fire.  It was falling asleep on the car ride home while snow flakes fell softly against the window and Dad reading Twas the Night Before Christmas before tucking us into bed.  It was the sound of trains, the ugly ornament contest, the smell of cinnamon rolls and Grandad’s hug after you gave him his 20th “World’s Greatest Grandpa” mug.  It was those moments, those places, those people and those memories that made Christmas my favorite holiday.

We all have those traditions and at one point or another we watch them change.  Christmas is different now.  We moved, people passed away, and traditions changed. It’s been tough as someone who loves family traditions, but these past couple years, I’m beginning to see the beauty in it all.  This is the in between time, the exciting part.  We’re making our own traditions, borrowing the old and embracing the new and making them our own.

Real tree of course

So while this Christmas I sometimes miss what I knew as a child and people I held so dear as well as those I love who are far away this holiday, including my best friend (things are just not nearly as fun without him) I’m realizing it’s just part of the growth, the evolution, the change, and that there is so much beauty wrapped up in the in-between.

Yep, I have the sneaking suspicion me and Christmas…will make up some day soon.

Someday I’ll look back and remember this as my kids fall asleep in the backseat on the way home on a Christmas Eve that was filled with rich tradition that they’ll always remember.  Caesar doesn’t count, although he is loving this Atlanta Christmas in the 50 degree weather so I’m sure he’d welcome this tradition.

And because it’s Christmas Eve here’s a little something from a Christmas classic:

“Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand”

See.  My heart isn’t made of stone.  I’m off to go grab my favorite winter ale, put some Christmas music on and finish wrapping before Santa gets here.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Fall is the New Spring

“Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile.” ~William Cullen Brynat

 

From We Heart It

 

Spring is overrated.  At least in my book.  I’m not sure what it is but I’ve always felt more alive and more at home in the rich reds, welcoming oranges, comforting yellow and soothing browns than the bright pastels of spring.

Fall has always meant exciting new beginnings.  From working in the publishing world where you hoard all your  best books until Fall for release in  anticipation of the Christmas rush to now being back on a school schedule, Fall means things are happening.  It’s always been my favorite time of year.

This week is Fall Break and as I was driving through the rolling hills of Kentucky into Tennessee yesterday, my heart was utterly and simply happy.  The colors were stunning and there was just something in the air.  I love Nashville in the Fall.

I don’t know about you but my whole taste shifts in the fall.  It is the oddest thing.  My car is filled with music from Iron and Wine to Sarah Barielles (seriously great Fall music, get her new cd, it’s on repeat in my car).  I have the urge to make pies and pumpkin cookies (I have some great fall recipes coming later this week).  The beer selection in my fridge changes from refreshing golden wheat to hearty oktoberfests, ambers and spicy pumpkin beers and I like my coffee to have tastes of caramel, toffee or pumpkin. And who doesn’t like pulling out those fall sweaters and boots for the first time.  But more than going back to those fall traditions, tastes and activities, it’s also a time of renewal.

 

Also from We Heart It

 

This is an odd dichotomy I know but the way fall enters does this with such grace might be the secret to why I love it so much.  I have always been someone who despite loving to try new things, there are some things I will never give up.

Everything in my life is new right now. I am embracing it and loving every minute of learning and meeting new people, but this fall break I can’t tell you how excited I am to be back in Nashville, to catch up with the friends that are my heart and soul.  Fall is the time when you gather.  Whether it be for football, to pick out that perfect pumpkin, or Thanksgiving, we gather.  We gather and are thankful.  These people, just like fall traditions, inspire me and energize me.  This fall I have so much to be thankful for.

Not only that but there are so many new things happening this fall.  I am learning so much and thriving off of doing what I love every single day (and most of every night right now 😉  Just like the leaves, everything is changing and I am so excited about it.  This is my time to grow…why wait for Spring?

So here’s to corn mazes, pumpkin spice lattes, pies, pumpkin patches, cozy cups of coffee while reading the latest book from your favorite writer, football, dinners with friends, family and spiced apple cider.  Here’s to the colors changing, leaves crunching under each step of a morning run, and to that something in the air that heralds in the new season, filled with the people we love, traditions we cherish and the changes to come.  Happy Fall!

Watch Out Children…You Never Know What Might be Lurking in the Dark

Monsters are never as cute as they look in the pictures

What’s your favorite memory of summer?

Does it involve the lake?  A beach perhaps?  Does summer conjure up images of family, swimming, warm sunny days and lazy nights?

For me…one of the most vivid memories of summer for me revolves around…a monster.

This is not a hide under your bed monster or one that stays confined to the closet in your room.  No, this one roams in the dark and strikes unexpectedly, to the exact place you feel safest…family vacation.

No children, you are not safe.

I was asked to be a part of Ashley’s series, A Childhood Summer, where she asked people to recount their childhood memories of summer.  I decided it was time to break the silence 😉

Check out my guest post here.

What’s your favorite memory of summer?