Are Your Goals Suffering From Seasonal Confusion Disorder (SCD)?

“We are always “in progress.”‘ ~ Lara Casey

I am someone who likes order. I like predictability. So you can imagine my confusion recently when it was almost 70 degrees . . . in January.

Notice I said confusion, and not sadness.

While it was nothing like I’ve been used to, as a recent Birmingham transplant from the North Country, I loved that I could be outside playing with the boys in the middle of January. I may have even sent a few pictures of us outside to our friends back in Ohio, who, just this past weekend, got dumped on by snow. I know, I shouldn’t have. But these are the same people who also saw pictures of me sweating it out here during our first Southern summer. Honestly, I think these nice days in the middle of January are nature’s way of saying thank you to those of us down here in the South for dealing with her hot flashes in the summer . . . and fall.

Since moving to Birmingham in June, I’ve learned that the South, at times, suffers from Seasonal Confusion Disorder (SCD).

While we’re on the topic of SCD, did you know your goals could suffer from the same ailment? I didn’t either, until I met Lara Casey.

Now looking back, I realize SCD was a silent killer of my goals for so many years. I would set these lofty goals without taking into account the season of life I was in.  What has transformed my view on goal setting this year was realizing that my goals need to match my season.

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How are you progressing on your goals?  Feeling burnt out?  Overwhelmed?  If so, these may be signs of SCD.  But there is a cure.  For more on the importance of assessing the season your in, refreshing your goals, and matching your goals to your season, check out my latest post on the Birmingham Moms Blog.

Tough Conversations With Kids – Preparing Your Child with a Plan to Prevent Sexual Abuse

“…if you’re a parent, it doesn’t matter if your child is five or 50 – you still worry.” ~ Heather Small

The plus sign or double pink lines on pregnancy tests should really be accompanied by a little note that reads, “Welcome to parenthood – the world of worry.” Because that’s when it all starts . . .

While pregnant, you worry about the health and safety of your baby. You hold your breath while the ultrasound tech checks the strength of heart valves, counts ten tiny toes, and takes your sweet one’s measurements. You get butterflies as the doctor spends those first few seconds scanning the chart to check on the baby’s progress. But at that time, your worry appears to have an end point – birth.

You think, “Once my little one is in my arms and I can see him or her, those eyes, that mouth, and those little fingers wrapped around my thumb, everything will be all right – I won’t have to worry anymore.”

But then you learn that worrying about your child’s well-being doesn’t end at birth. It begins.

Unfortunately, sleepless nights don’t end when you’re out of the newborn phase. There’s just a different reason for them. What starts as worrying about feedings with a newborn changes to worrying about classmates in elementary school, which morphs into worrying about your teen texting while driving despite the million times you’ve told him or her not to. Worrying about the little ones we love is just part of parenting.

One worry many parents have as their little ones attend daycare or school, or are left with babysitters, is body safety and abuse. Unfortunately, there’s good reason to worry. The state of Alabama is in line with national statistics, which show that one in every 10 children will experience some form of sexual abuse before turning 18. That stat is staggering. But here’s the good news — we can do something. We can educate them and empower them.

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For tips on how to make body safety another part of your family’s safety plan, check out my latest post on the Birmingham Moms Blog where Executive Director of the Children’s Hospital Intervention and Prevention Services at Children’s of Alabama gives some tips on key components to include in your family’s plan.

Tough Conversations with Kids – Let’s Talk About Sex

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what.  If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” ~ Catherine M. Wallace

Nothing strikes quite as much fear in the hearts of parents as the thought of having “the talk” with their child.

Amidst the nausea and panic that immediately set in, there are the questions: When do you have it? What do you say? How do you say it? What if you say the wrong thing? What if they ask a question you don’t know the answer to? Don’t they cover this in school?

These are the questions I already have . . . and my eldest is just barely out of diapers.

But here’s the good news – early, candid conversations with your child about tough topics, like puberty and sex, help set your child and family up for success for years to come. And who wouldn’t want that?

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For tips on jumpstarting the conversation with your son or daughter, check out my latest post on the Birmingham Moms Blog where Dr. Stephenie Wallace, mom, certified Girlologist, and part of the Adolescent Health Center team at Children’s of Alabama gives some tips on how to get started.

 

Learning How to Enjoy the Moment

“Children are not a distraction from more important work.  They are the most important work.” ~ C.S. Lewis

I have a sneaking suspicion.

I suspect that if each of us thought back to the advice we received while pregnant, one of the top ten most-received tidbits would be, “Enjoy the moment.”

However, the problem is, while family, friends, co-workers, and even complete strangers are quick to offer this bit of advice, no one tells you how to do that.

No one tells you how to “enjoy the moment” when your newborn has day/night confusion and you are running on less than three hours of sleep.

No one tells you how to “enjoy the moment” when your potty-training toddler has his or her fifth accident that day and you’re up to your elbows in poop, laundry, and Clorox wipes.

No one tells you how to “enjoy the moment” when your patience (and nerves) are shot from dealing with a contrary toddler that just.won’t.listen.

Forget about enjoying the moment, we are just trying to survive it.

That’s where I found myself recently. Then, while having breakfast with the boys, I looked out the window and saw the school bus pass by. Inexplicably, my heart leapt.  I could feel a swelling deep in my gut.

These sweet, albeit chaotic, mornings with my two boys are numbered. All too soon they won’t want to sit down and tell me about the dragons they slayed in their dreams over toast.  They may not laugh at the silly faces I make, or ask me ten times to do the robot voice that makes them laugh so hard they get the hiccups.

Then that advice came echoing back, “Enjoy the moment.”

Sitting at the table that morning, I resolved not to squander these moments. However, then I had to come up with a game plan to actually follow the advice I had been given.

Read the rest of this post on the Birmingham Moms Blog.

Tough Conversations With Kids

“Expect the best, prepare for the worst.” ~ Muhammad Ali Jinnah

Risk analysis is my jam.  You could put me in a room, and I could both identify and prepare for any risk that might even remotely be presented.

We had the monitor to alert us if the boys’ breathing became irregular, we were early adapters to child-proofing, and I still cut up hot dogs for my 2 ½ year-old so they don’t pose a choking hazard.

What mom hasn’t felt her risk antennae become a bit sharper after having kids? From the minute our child comes into our life, every cell in our body reprograms with a new mission – keeping him or her safe.

But that’s hard. We can’t always be there. Nor do we want to be. Therefore, the best way we can protect our kids is to prepare them.

However, this can lead to some tough conversations…

Read the rest of this first post of my Tough Conversations with Kids series on the Birmingham Moms Blog.

Mommin’ Ain’t Easy

“Friendship…is born at the moment when one person says to another: “What!  You too?  I thought I was the only one.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Bless the moms who always look fantastic and put together, who’s doting kids always appear to listen to their mother’s calm requests with a polite smile on their faces, and who’s children are grateful for every minor correction given by all-knowing parents, as if they know that their momma truly does know best.  Bless them.

The perfect moment captured.

If you were to catch a glimpse of me on the right day, at exactly the right moment, when the wind is blowing just right, and the world (aka the two boys) seems in sync, you may think I am one of these unicorns.

However, let me assure you my friends that I am not.

On my best day I am like the mom equivalent of a mullet – perfectly manicured in the front, hair on fire in the back.

In my short two-and-a-half years as a mother, I have learned that in fact, there are no unicorns.  There is no perfect mother with perfectly behaved kids.  That perfectly put together mother with her well-behaved children I see at the grocery store, soccer practice, and at daycare pick up – she’s right there in the trenches too.  I just happened to catch her at just the right moment.  And you know what, that’s why when I see that mom, I give her a nod as if to say, “Sister, I know what it took to get here like that.  You go girl.”  Then my face likely reflects a tinge of longing as I thing, “Tell me your secret.”

The behind-the-scenes captured

However, despite the craziness, the mom-buns, the dry-fit shirts (a new staple of my momiform here in Birmingham), and the suitcases under my eyes, I wouldn’t trade being a mom for all the perfect and/or quiet moments in the world.

But mommin’ ain’t easy.  It isn’t for the faint of heart.  That’s why we need friends.  We need friends who we can join with, share with, be in the trenches with, and laugh with.

I’ve always loved the above C.S. Lewis quote.  But, I treasure it as a mom.

Whether it is a co-worker, a fellow soccer mom, or your favorite blogger, there is nothing more reassuring or encouraging as a mom than when you hear or read something that makes you say, “What? You too?  I thought I was the only one!”

There is strength in numbers ladies.

That’s why I am so thrilled and honored to join the fabulous team of ladies at the Birmingham Moms Blog as a contributor.

Check out the introduction post to read a little more about how we got to Birmingham, my career change, and what the true meaning is behind the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.”

The posts will include some local flavor as the boys and I explore our new home here in the Magic City.  However, I hope to also relay those universal moments we all have as moms in the trenches – the ones that make us laugh, cry, and everything in between.   So be encouraged mama – no matter where you are, you are not the only one.